You are probably wondering where the H I've been for the past couple of weeks. My blog entries have been weak and lacking. Well I really hate to point fingers, my mom said it's not nice and an easy cop out, BUT I really must in this case. You see, my mom, G-d bless her, is crazy insane and always so busy! Why does that matter do you ask? Well I'll tell you a secret...she really helps me out with this blog! She corrects my spelling, picks out cute pictures and reminds me of funny stories! So what is she so busy with you wonder? Well let's start with me. Remember the days when I used to lay in bed and wait for Mama to come and get me with a big smile on my face?
Well...sometimes I still do that...but as I've grown up a bit I've started let out a huge roar when I wake up so someone will come and get me. Why do I make a scene in the mornings? Well because my breakfasts are bangin' these days! Ma makes me oatmeal mixed with yoghurt and a different funky fruit combo each day (ie. bananas, cherries, plums, blueberries, raspberries...whatever is fresh at the farmer's market that week). PLUS: I get a waffle! Um, YUM! So needless to say...I get excited! Following breakfast...Mom has to clean my hands, my face, my chair, the floor, the counter, my bowl + spoon and my bib. But don't think she gets off easy there...after every meal I get a bottle! That's right. And I like to be very unpredictable and drink anywhere from 4 to 8 oz while hopping up and down on the couch where she feeds it to me. Now I've got a milk stash and a wet shirt. Let the fun begin! Mom always let's me play for at least an hour after breakfast. During this time I go directly to my toy box.
Sometimes I find myself shoved into it with my friends (aye...so embarrassing) but mostly I just start chewing on the toy lock to the box and then make my mom pull out every toy in there so I can stare and move each around on the floor for about 10 seconds and then move right onto the fireplace where I'm not supposed to touch. Mom asks me to move away, and usually after the 3rd time of ignoring her she whisks me away to be back over by my toy box. Ok fine. I get it. I won't touch the fireplace...but she didn't say I couldn't touch the green bucket of goodies! So I make my way over to this bin...takes me about a second and a half at the speed that I crawl...and I get my grubby little hands in there faster then Mom can say boo. I pull out a couple of cans of sunblock (great for teething), Mom's sun hat (my pal Baby David loves this one as much as I do - looks sharp in it wouldn't you say?), a frisbee (wanna catch?) and paddle ball and I start banging this adult game on the floor. Finally, I crawl over to the end table by the couch and hang out there banging my hands really loud and squishing out my post breakfast poo. Nice and easy. Mom...ready? Let's get cleaned up and out of these jammies! Note to anyone who wants to buy me a gfit: Toys are useless. I love chewing on flip flops but all of ours our dirty. Want to buy me something? Go to old navy and pick up a pair of $5 (sometimes $3) flip flops. Mom will save them for me to chew on...and will not wear them outside! Weird kid I am...actually - I think all kids are just like me so boogie off!
At this point I'm usually ready to take a little mid morning snooze. You see it's hard work making mom chase after me.
I've been napping pretty good these days. Usually anywhere from 1 to 2 hours a clip. Mom uses these precious hours to hustle around the house trying to the get the following done:
* Clean up my toys (totally stupid that she does this because every time I wake up we just have to pull them out again - but she's 100% OCD and cannot help it - I get it Ma. I get it)
* Empty the dishwasher
* sweep the floor
* take out the garbage
* clean my humidifier
* make my lunch (always homemade when we're in the house)
* make her grocery shopping lists
and some days...she takes a shower (and once in awhile shaves) and once a week does the laundry.
The time goes by like a blink of an eye and I'm up and ready to get going again! It's now lunch time. Mom has been banging out some insanely to die for meals. Martha Stewart ~ HELLO! Not to mention when Papa is around...watch out brother Jimmy! My Dad is the grill master of Quogue!
If the weather is nice Mom takes me for a swim after lunch. I've been a real champ in the pool. Riding on the rafts, playing ball and slapping Mama high five whenever she asks (Thanks to the great teachings of my Granny Shelly). After we dry off it's time to shop. Let's hit it! Sounds easy right? Well not with my mom. She always seems to be entertaining...so what you would think is a simple shopping excursion actually consists of the following stops:
* The Farmer's market
* The Butcher (Sunny - loves me and my mom)
* Stop N Shop (grocery store)
and depending on the menu...sometimes Cor-J's the fresh seafood place.
The weekend of July 10th we had a great crew out! It was Kelly, Rob & Hunter + Lisa, Tim + Baby David. 2 of my favorite pals! Hunter and Baby D had never met. They hit it off famously! We spent a ton of time in the pool, eating and causing trouble.
The following week the weather was not great. So Mom and I decided it would be fun to try something new. We discovered this museum called the CMEE: Children's Museum of the East End. It was SO cool! They had a children's farmers market with toy fruits + veggies, an aqua section, a huge firetruck, a play gym that I climbed all over and instruments (being the born rock star that I am...) which I loved!
At one point I looked up and asked my Mom...um, what did I do to deserve to be in the dog house here? She chuckled and said let's go.
Mom cooks for me so much so I suggested we go out for lunch after the CMEE. My treat. I took her to this place on the water (that she loves and goes with papa and their friends all the time) called Oaklands. They have great seafood and the staff members are always welcoming. We were greeted by the Manager - Margaret. She was so kind and took us to a nice quiet table and gave me a high chair. Mom ordered us a fish taco and started me off with some Cheerios that I ate at a prompt 5:1 ratio (5 being on the floor and 1 in my mouth). When the taco arrived it smelled delicious and I couldn't wait to dive in but for some reason Margaret thought it would be nice to give mom a break and take me for a walk while she ate. Um...Ok. I guess.
The next day Mom and I drove back to the city. We go back every Tuesday so I can be at my rock band class on Wednesday mornings. I had to take a make up class last week called Move baby Move. It was on Tuesday and was a ton of fun! Basically I just get to run around a big obstacle course for an hour and knock out any kid who gets in my way. For example...climbing up the rubber stairs...of course I was the fastest!
When we left class it was pouring rain. We hurried home and ate lunch. Mom then quickly got me cleaned up and changed and into the car we go. Where are we going in this storm? No time to chit chat - we're going to meet your cousin Morgan for pictures! Uck - seriously? It's a monsoon outside, we're driving through floods and Ma gets us lost because the GPS doesn't acquire it's satellite's fast enough. Great. Just GREAT! FINALLY we arrive and we are 1 hour late. Seriously Mom? Are you kidding me? Morgan is exhausted and ready to leave while you've got me dressing up like a total math geek in a blazer while putting a football under my nose. Unreal. The pictures came out ok while Mom spent way too much on too many copies that she didn't need. Papa wasn't thrilled. Though the pics made so many relatives so so happy. Making Boobie Frieda Kvell (a Yiddish word meaning to have great pride): Priceless.
This past weekend was all about me and my Papa. We got some major QT together and even an extra night out at the house! He got to stay with us through Sunday. Yee hoo! We took a weekend to ourselves and helped celebrate Hunter's 2nd birthday. It was at a place called Carnival time. I found myself sleeping 30 minutes in and when I woke up thought wow! If I could only wake up to a carnival every day! I got to play with a blow up hockey stick and dodge 2 and 3 year olds running around me...I survived it and walked away with a pretty cool loot bag. Thank you Aunt Kelly! You and Uncle Rob throw a great party. I love you!!
The rest of the weekend was really about good food. We did nothing but eat...and I mean literally...whatever Mom and Dad ate...I got to eat too!!
Except when Mom and Dad put me to sleep and made veal chops for themselves...didn't save any leftovers for me - how cruel?!!
Papa left us on Monday morning to play Fenway for golf. I hugged him so tight...didn't want him to go! But I understand he's got to work so I can continue to live in this nice house and hang out with my mom everyday! So back to business. And the week starts all over...
This time we had a special guest visitor: Chef Joe Anto! He stopped by the house on his way back to the city from Montauk. What a nice surprise! He cooked us a fabulous meal and showed me his line of watches called Rumba Time. I loved the watch so much I didn't want to give it back!!
So these were really just some examples of what me and my crazy Ma do every day. I can tell you this...I've been standing up, crawling like a cheetah and starting to walk...so there is certainly, never a dull moment around the Kertzner household. My father often asks so I will answer: yes, this is my life.
